love and friends, OR PROBLEM AND SOLLUTION...

SO IF YOU HAVE EVER FELT THAT PAIN IN YOUR STOMACH THAT SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I HAVE IT, AND IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY BEST FRIEND I WILL HATE HER FOR THIS. SHE KNOWS I AM HAPPY AND SHE KNOWS SHE HAS NO CHANCE WITH US BEING TOGETHER. IF WE BREAK UP THIS WILL BE THE WORST CHRISTMAS I HAVE EVER HAD. THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE AND I WISH IT WOULD ALL GO AWAY. WHEN I TRY TO HELP PEOPLE I END UP SCREWING IT UP. I WISH I NEVER WOULD HAVE TRIED UNLESS SHE ASKED ME TOO. I AM DONE WITH THE PAIN, SO I AM GOING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES TO END IT. AND I HOPE THAT IT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO END THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I HAVE HAD. I FEEL THAT IF I LEAVE HER IT WILL END HER LIFE AS WELL AS MINE. BUT IF I TELL MY BEST FRIEND THAT WE ARE DONE BEING FRIENDS IT WILL END HERS. SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF SHE BREAKS UP WITH ME, SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I WOULD GIVE THE WORLD TO BE WITH HER. BUT WHAT IF US BEING APART IS THE ONLY WAY WE WILL BE HAPPY? HOPEFULLY I CAN FIGURE THIS OUT IN GOOD TIME, I HOPE THAT WE STAY TOGETHER FOR AS LONG AS WE HAVE PLANNED, FOREVER. SHES A GREAT PERSON AND I NEED HER. IF I CAN HELP I WILL AND IF SHE WANTS IT I WILL. HELPING HER WILL HELP ME BE HAPPY AS LONG AS SHE WANTS IT. THAT IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS HELPING HER AND IF I AM NOT, THEN I AM NOT HAPPY. IF SHE LOVES ME SHE WILL LET ME HELP HER, SHE CHANGES HER MIND LIKE A FUCKING FAT KID EATS CAKE. ITS IRRITATING YET UNDERSTANDABLE. I WISH I UNDERSTOOD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER, BUT I NEVER WILL. IF SOMEONE CAN HELP ME PLEASE DO.I FEEL LIKE HER HAVING A PROBLEM IS EATING ME AS WELL. I THINK I AM INHERITING IT SLOWLY BUT SURELY. SOONER OR LATER THIS WILL TAKE HER LIFE. AND I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER IN MY LIFE.

love or friends

SO IT'S SET I GUESS. I AM TRULY IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL, I'LL NEVER LEAVE HER. SHE MEANS TOO MUCH TOO ME. I HAVE GREAT FRIENDS AT SOME POINTS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU HELP A LOT AND I AM GLAD YOU DO. YOU UNDERSTAND ME AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND SOME PARTS. SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT HER. PEOPLE SAY SHE MAKES ME UNHAPPY BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES HER UNHAPPY, YOU PEOPLE THAT DON'T SEEM TO CARE NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU PUSH HER TOO FAR. I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER AND I PLAN TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER. SHE IS AN AMAZING PERSON AND I WANT TO KEEP HER AS CLOSE TO ME AS POSSIBLE. YOU PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN THERE FOR US, YOU HAVE BROUGHT OUT MY TRUE FEELINGS,. I DON'T CRY, BUT WHEN I TALKED TO YOU IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT I NEED TO CRY WHEN IT'S NECESSARY. THIS WEEK HAS BEEN HELL BUT AT THE SAME TIME HAS BEEN GOOD FOR ME, AND HAS HELPED ME CHANGE IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE RIGHT NOW. I'LL POST MORE WHEN I KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY ABOUT THIS.

SINCERELY
--NOBLEMAN

love or friends

LOVE IS UNEXPLAINABLE, CANT BE PUT INTO WORDS, AND IS COMPLETELY NOT UNDERSTANDABLE. A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE HELPED ME FIGURE THIS OUT, SHE IS A GREAT FRIEND AND IS IRREPLACEABLE. I HOPE LIFE WILL SORT ITS SELF OUT IN THE LONG RUN. I THINK THAT IN MY CASE, LOVE IS WHEN YOU CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE ONE PERSON THAT YOU CAN BE OPEN WITH AND TELL ANYTHING TO. BUT WHAT SUMS IT UP FOR ME IS THE QUOTE MY LOVE FOUND, TIBI IN OMNE TEMPUS. TRANSLATION- "FOR YOU INTO ALL TIME".

BUT WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND IS FALLING FOR YOU ITS HARD TO SLEEP AND EAT. THE ONE PERSON I LOVE IS HATING IT THAT ANOTHER GIRL IS FALLING FOR ME, AND SHE IS THINKING SHE IS MAKING ME CHOOSE. I HAVE NOTHING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE COMES FIRST, I WISH EVERYONE KNEW WHERE I WAS COMING FROM. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS YOURSELF, JUST THINK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL TOWARDS SOMEONE.

I'LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS WITH HER, AND I'LL NEVER LEAVE THE ONE I LOVE. I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO MAKE IT BETTER BUT IT'S NOT, NOT AT ALL. NO MATTER WHO I LOVE OR WHO I AM WITH, I'LL NEVER MAKE MY BEST FRIEND AS HAPPY AS SHE USED TO BE WITH ME LIKE WE USED TO BE. IF LIFE WERE EASY IT WOULD BE NO FUN, BUT IF IT WERE EASY IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND EASILY DEALT WITH. I GUESS I AM HOPING THAT THE DREAMS I HAVE WITH HER WILL COME TRUE, THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME AND TO HER, SHE USED TO HAVE PROBLEMS BUT NOW WE SHARE OUR PROBLEMS. I WISH I COULD HELP EVERYONE, LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. AS LONG THERE IS SOMEONE WHO NEEDS HELP, I'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO DO. I AM ALL ABOUT FRIENDS AND NOT ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF UNLESS THE ONES I LOVE ARE OKAY.

I WAS GIVEN A LETTER BY MY BEST FRIEND, IT READ A LOT ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP AND THAT MEANT A LOT. BUT I FEEL THAT WE CAN NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN FRIENDS. I AM SORRY I PUT HER THROUGH IT AND I WISH I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK. BUT I REALIZE THAT I CAN'T AND I HOPE I CAN MAKE HER HAPPY ONE DAY, BUT I CAN NEVER BE MORE THAN FRIENDS. A LOT OF FRIENDSHIPS ARE RUINED BY DATING AND HOOKING UP AND I DON'T WANT THAT WITH HER BECAUSE SHE IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME. I KNOW THAT IF I TELL HER HOW I FEEL OR IF SHE READS THIS IT WILL GO SOMEWHERE. SHE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET OVER ME AND I AM SO VERY SORRY SHE CAN'T. BUT I'LL NEVER BE OVER THE ONE I LOVE. BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN HURT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE. IT MAKES ME HURT WHEN THE TWO OF THEM HURT AND LATELY I HURT A LOT. SO I AM GOING WITH WHAT MY HEART IS TELLING ME AND I AM GOING TO STAY WHERE I AM AND KEEP ENJOYING THE GOOD AND HELPING THE BAD. BUT YOU CAN NEVER FIX ALL THE BAD IN ONE LIFE, SO I'LL FIX THE BAD IN MY LOVES AND THEN FOCUS ON MINE, ONE STEP AT A TIME FOR THE BOTH OF US. IF YOU PUSH IT DOESN'T WORK, BUT IF YOU KEEP A LOOSE LEASH ON IT THEN EVENTUALLY IT WILL WORK IT'S SELF OUT. I HOPE THAT THIS GETS TO SOMEONE IN MY SITUATION.

SINCERELY
--NOBLEMAN

love or friends

What is love, honestly? When you hear it from two people and you only feel it for one of the two. How do you react? My best friend is falling for me when I am in love with another girl. My best friend knows how I feel but I don't know what to tell her anymore. I wish it were easier to realize what people want. I have spent so much time helping others but I never help myself.